When they were newborns, I often put them side by side next to each other. They always looked at each other, touched each other, exchanged hand signals and some simple vocal expressions. When I put them with other babies, they stared at other babies quietly and they usually tried to move themselves close to their own brother. When the twins were 10 months old, they had a play date with a girl in the neighborhood who is 8 months older. As soon as the girl tried to grab Tom’s clothes, with a horrified expression on his face, Tom immediately leaned onto and grabbed his brother. It became evident that they always looked for each other after they were able to express themselves by talking or pointing. They liked being together.
It is wonderful that they have each other all the time but it is important for them to have other friends. Friendship is important to a child’s social and mental development and parents have responsibility to help their child to develop relationship and interpersonal skills.
Do twins have the same friends? So far, most of time it has been the case to my two; they have shared common friends. Although my children are fraternal twins, who have different interests and personalities, in a small class setting, they do not have too many choices for their friends. The “persons” in the proximity become their common friends. This may change later as they grow up.
I asked the daycare teachers to see if my children play with other kids, and the answers before two were: All the kids in their class play by themselves, they may play next to other kids but they do not actually interact with one another. Because the twins were so used to share toys with other, in a group setting, they seemed to position themselves well and felt comfortable with all the babies around them. In addition, they had no problem to share toys with others.
The answers after two are different; children at age of two are well aware of their surroundings. They start to play with others, and socialize with their classmates:
- The twins play with each other a lot, so teachers separate them in different playing groups sometime.
- They play with other kids, both girls and boys.
- They have their own play buddies.
- The twins hug each other at School and show affections for their own brother.
The answers from my children were not quite the same as those from teachers.
- They do play with girls but they prefer playing with boys because girls like jewelries.
- They have the same best friend but they also play with other different friends.
- They cannot play with their own brother because their friends get mad.
After attending several birthday parties and a few of play dates, now they are fully aware of “parties” and would like to have many parties of their own. I asked them whom I should invite for their play date; the answer has been “All of them”. We invited all their friends for their birthday. Since two of them only have one birthday per year, so we add an annual “run around” party for every little friends. For play dates, I have to let them narrow down to 2-3 little friends or it becomes a “big project” to take care of. Sometime, even 2 friends only were invited but friends’ siblings do often attend.
Given the differences in eating, food preference and medical conditions between families, there is a procedure for a successful play date at home.
- Send invitations, clearly print the time (from when to when) and request RSVP.
- Talk to the parents before the parties to figure out
- Dietary preference, especially some of the little friends have allergies to nuts or eggs.
- Favor activities: so we can plan some fun activities for all the attendees.
- Will their siblings come? The accurate head count is important and it had better to know in advance.
- Get children involved. Discuss with your children to see what they have in mind for the party.
- Prepare for the party (food, toys, utensils, cleaning, hiding breakable stuffs and things your kids do not want to share etc; prepare food and drink for other parents).
- Clean house with your children.
- Get some rest before the party.
- Party day: Safety first. Run around, have fun and laugh a lot. Provide enough drink and food. Toddlers/preschoolers can be unhappy if they are thirsty or hungry.
- Tell children that they will have another party again only when they do well at school and at home.
- Clean house with your children.
================================================
Party supply on-line stores:
Partycheap
Oriental Trading
Party supplies net
Discount party supplies warehouse
Partypro
================================================
