They are not sitcoms but real life drama with twins.
I was called in to talk to the Daycare director, because one the twins pulled down his pants while he was waiting in line for the bathroom. He felt that the act would make his little friends laugh. In addition, earlier on the same day, he complained that school is boring. And his twin brother felt compelled to help out by saying that we can blow up the school, so there is no school to come to anymore. It was not the first time for me to come to the"principal's" office, and it will certainly not be the last time. I just hope that the "menace" does not increase with age.
I was very apologetic and explained to the director that they probably did not know what they were doing or saying. They are gentle and sweet, and they have not shown any signs of violent behavior - which the teachers agreed with. I told their teacher that I would do my best to prevent future recurrences of these kinds of behavior. When we got home, I had a talk with them to explain that pulling pants in public is not a proper thing to do and that blowing up school is a bad, bad, bad thing to do or to say. They were quiet because they knew, I was mad. I was not sure if they understood what I was trying to tell them. Ten minutes later, everything was back to normal. They chased each other around the house, bumped into things and terrified their mommy as normal.
The twins have been playing a couple Wii games which we have (Lego Indiana Jones,Wii Play), so they know how to knock things down and blow things up. We might have let them play the game too early; but the events in these games are not any worse than what they see on TV (looney toons, pink panther). Our original intention was to develop their hand-eye coordination by playing Wii while providing them with some fun during the winter when outdoor activity is extremely limited. One needs to aim the control at the object on screen to control the video game. After my conversation with the teacher, I tried to stop them from playing, but it was not received well. They had multiple tantrums. It is hard to take away something we have given to them. After frustrated attempts, we used playing Wii as a reward instead. They can play only if they get a "sunny" day at school and only after they practice writing their letters. This alternative approach worked better for us, and they were apparently motivated to be "good".
To ensure that they listen to us, we asked them to tell us what we said about the bad behaviors before bedtime during the next few days. The one, who does not listen usually, would need to pay attention to our sentences and then express them using his own words. At least, we made him work hard to digest the messages. It's been repeated for four days, he seems to remember what he should not do. He does a little bit better in school and stopped complaining "school is boring". We will have to wait and see the intermediate and long term effects.
Daycare teachers have been trying to separate them, so they would not cooperate in bad behavior. My children need a lot of physical activities and play time to consume their endless energy or they get bored. It is hard in winter time - 45 children cooped up in a small space. They have my sympathy for not running around. At home, the ways to keep away temper tantrums are: play well, get tired, eat well and sleep well.
To me, it is wonderful to watch them playing together. Their reciprocal interaction is integrated and active. They absolutely adore and respect each other. They brain storm and help each other. They talk and make long stories full of imagination and creativity. They play and build a very luxurious house or a huge train track together... Next minute, they fight; they cry and they are mad at each other.
They also come up with many unthinkable ideas. Some of their naughty behaviors can make me cry and laugh at the same time. One horrible example is that they flushed their grandmother's dentures down the toilet. One dumped the dentures into the toilet and the other pulled the plunger. They were brave enough to admit what they did, but they were not wise enough to know that the thing they flushed was their grandmother's teeth. The follow up questions from them were: why grandma's teeth are not in the mouth? Why grandma needs a denture? Basically, they had no idea what they had done and did not know what was the consequence for their guilty pleasure. It was not a funny matter, but most of my friends laughed anyway as I told them what happened.
I might have found too many excuses for them, and I have spoiled them. I will still think that they are just normal little preschoolers. They do all the naughty things as every other little boy may do; they are not unusual in this regard. They are developing all the senses and skills for life, and we are learning how to respond to all the surprises. All of us are doing better every day.
